What I've learned about cleaning...

1) the amount of dog hair in a house has no direct bearing on how hairless a dog should appear after shedding so much. She shows not a sign of balding; it boggles the mind.

2) the satisfaction of vacuuming carpets last but a moment - or until the dog shakes.

3) a Dyson on clearance at Home Depot still works like a Dyson at waaaay less cost. Older models still suck stuff up with abandon, although they may be last year's color. I'm an 'older' model, and I have no idea what last year's color was on me. I'm still working, too, for what it's worth.

4) sucking up a live wasp, into the vacuum, does not bring about any feelings of sadness. Am I a bad person?

5) high ceilings make me wonder what I can't see and can't reach...

6) does thinking about what it would be like to set off the indoor/fire sprinkler system to 'wash' the house top-to-bottom make me a bad person?

7) wrought iron is lovely but impossible to clean effectively with any tool currently known to man.

8) no chemicals or name-brand mopping devices clean a floor better than water and a rag on one's hands and knees.

9) ironing makes things smooth and soft. It's a comfort drug of sorts. (You knew I'd mention ironing, didn't you?)

10) stone fireplaces are beautiful but can never be clean enough. Crevices, stone, cement = dust bunny heaven.

11) spiders thrive in Canada in the summer. They thrive, I tell you! Don't come here if you're an arachnophobiac. Consider yourself warned. I clean - they build; I clean - they build. It's becoming competitive, and, yes, I know their brains are smaller... but still... I think they know.

12) a gym membership is not necessary if you consider cleaning your house a personal challenge. It's all about winning...